Underneath the skin of a Filipina

Foreigners say that we Filipinas have the perfect complexion. Kayumanggi as what we call it- not so dark and not so fair; just right. To many, Filipina’s complexion is simply the best and regarded as one of the qualities foreign guys love about us. However, underneath this unique skin color lays a more attractive yet realistic side of being a woman born and raised in the Pearl of the Orient.

Filipinas are loved by people from other countries because of our exceptional qualities which other do not have. One of which is being true and loyal to our husbands/ boyfriends. Since Filipino people adopt Catholicism as our primary religion, we were taught and raised with the idea that marriage is sacred. We give it all in love for we believe that a righteous woman loves only one man for the rest of her life. Virginity is also valued because it should just be given to our husbands after the wedding ceremony. Not unlike with others, matters about sex and the like were taken as a serious matter, something that only married couples do. Call it too conservative but that is what is real about our culture. And this is I guess one of our edge among other women of other races.

Another remarkable quality of Filipinas is our potentials of becoming a good mother to our children and a caring housewife to our husbands. It was indeed a great help for us that we were raised in a family-oriented country, because from that we were able to value our own families and find ways on how to make the bond stronger among the family members. A Filipina mother would do all that it takes just to secure a comfortable life for the whole family. Even if it will take us a day to do the laundry, or get our own jobs just to send the children to a good school and make a living for the family, a Filipina mother would surely do it without having any second thoughts.

And of course, let us not forget that Filipinas are also born smart and talented. I say this not only because I am a Filipina, but because this is the reality and this is what other people also see from us. Again, it all comes down to where we were all born- though Philippines belong to a third world country, we never lack good and witty teachers to teach us exceptional lessons be it academic wise or practicality wise. We may be lacking in financial aspects of having good facilities and schools, but that doesn’t’t hinder us to get a good kind of education. We live by the code that our education is our key to success, and wherever we go we bring that pride that we are intelligent people bounded with talents that are one of a kind.

However, Filipinas are not the perfect kind of girls every man loves to have. Like the others, our good qualities have equivalent flaws which we know and acknowledge. Not because I am a Filipina I will only say good things that we possess and conceal the bad qualities that we have. I believe that our flaws do not make us any less of a person, but rather admitting it and finding ways to improve ourselves better makes us a more wonderful individual.

One of the flaws that we have is being too attached on things and people when it comes to love. Since we are self-confessed monogamous individuals, we stick to one relationship even if the relationship itself does not work anymore. Most of the times our partners take us all for granted; foreigners think we are gullible- that we will stick with them whatever they do or we will forgive and just forget their wrong deeds toward us. But that is not the case. Filipinas are never gullible, for we know and we sense it easily when someone is cheating on us. Yet we try to pretend everything is all right, and try to make ways on how to get our guys back on us. Even if we are already hurt physically and emotionally or betrayed, we don’t mind it and just continue to make efforts for the sake of saving whatever it is that’s left in our relationship. Maybe some sees this act of not letting go that fast as a positive quality of us, but I see it as our weakness; for this quality is that we possess is the same quality which other people use to take advantage towards us.  Because of us being too loving and martyr, we always end up a battered wife, betrayed partner or left behind- something which I believe we never deserve.

It is also with us being too kind and hospitable that we are abused by people who always like to take advantage of others. Reports from the news today say a lot of Filipinas that comes in different ages are raped physically abused and worse are killed by their foreign employers and partners. We are also discriminated by foreign people, saying that our race is nothing but slaves that are destined to serve white men or because of our education and sometimes economic status. We are treated as animals by other employers just because we do not complain; We do not get the right benefits we should be getting in return of our good performance at work just because we do not object and we are neglected and molested just because we do not protest against them. We are too scared to speak for the truth and too kind to forsake others for their wrong deeds and that is the primary reason why we are mistreated. They do not value our worth and this is something that should immediately be changed. I am hoping that this generation’s group of Filipinas already learned a lesson from others- that it is okay not be so kind and that it is okay to speak up when they know something is already wrong.

Those which were stated above are just some of the flaws Filipinas own, and I do not deny it all because after all, this is still me; more importantly THIS IS US. As a Filipina, I am proud that I was born and raised the just as the way I am today- I may not be the perfect, I may have done a bunch of mistakes in my life but I know there’s still a room for me to improve. This blog was made not to enumerate all the upsides and downsides of being a Filipina, for I know that we are more than what my words and thoughts could say, yet this was made to remind others that we are also one precious creation of God who deserves respect, equality and fair judgment from others; that we are more of what you all expect; that we are not exactly as what you think about us.

We may seem to be perfect or a disgrace to your eyes, but you will never really know what and who a real Filipina is unless you make an effort to know us better.

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