When I was a little girl as far as I could remember I might be at least 5 years old, I always tell my mother that when I grow up I wanted to be a nurse and I always get this response from her somewhat agree/disagree with a "nod" and a smile with no words. There was really nothing promising when she does that "nod and a smile" thing.
At age 5, I know that my parents are struggling to make ends meet. I have 8 brothers and 2 sisters and I was number 9. I guess I was kinda mature thinking by then at that age because I felt how poor we were. There are times not just one but many many times we go to bed starving. I remember every time when I woke up, I always wish that I'm a grown woman and that I have a job already to help my parents alleviate their expenses but I found myself thinking hard, shaking my head and back to reality that I was only 5 years old.
I went to school for the first time at age 7 (kinda to late). Met so many kids at school older than I am and again, I found myself wishing that I was older like these kids around. I was standing right next to the Philippines Flag Pole at my school and was just observing older kids. All of a sudden, I was thinking what a life! we are born into this world, going to school, growing up, some may die at the middle age some may continue get a law degree, a doctor or even a PhD and some wont even make it to kindergarten. At that moment, I was thinking and asking myself "What If?" What if you go through all these hurdles in life, got a degree and all of that will be ended due to you die of an accident or just stupid cancer got you or just whatever, what if? What a life! Then I said what if this thing will happen to me? What will happen to my dreams? How can I help my parents? Why do we have to die? Why? I realized that I did worry those things too much. So I moved on and tried not to think negative thoughts.
Moving forward at age 13, I graduated from Elementary and did not continue my education due to financial issues. I decided to work as a working student so that I can move on and pursue my dream. Luckily, I found someone who was willing to pay for my education but at the end of my second year high school my sponsor died from battling of cancer. I was force to go back and live with my parents but I fight to continue my schooling despite of my parents financial problem. No matter how far the school were, I managed to walked everyday back and forth to school with my old rugged flip flop. I finally graduated from High School and all my struggling was paid off.
I recall thinking when I was young what If I don't make it but here I am standing still and alive at age 17. I shook my head again and have asked myself "Now What?" Wait a minute! I didn't have the chance to play Hide and Seek, Peek-a-Boo with my siblings or friends! What is going on? Have I rushed myself to get older sooner? Oh no! I can't go back the time. I am 17 and now it is time for me to find a job. Wait a minute! JOB? what job? I haven't even gone to college yet. Oh yes of course my parents could not afford to send me to college and they are still struggling, so it was time for me to find a job to help them out.
One year later, I found myself at the POEA (Philippines Overseas Employment Agency). I got hired and was shipped to Singapore. Woooooh slow down "Singapore?" Yes I was in Singapore working as a Domestic Helper for 2 years. I was struggling at first 3 months due to Language Barrier. Yes, I can write and speak English but not fluent but my boss was freaking Chinese and act like a Tiger! When she speak, she yells in Chinese and I don't know what the heck she was yelling for. Whenever my female boss speak, I had to hide because she roars like a tiger! I'm telling you I am not kidding. My Chinese female boss was mean and crazy! I quit working with her and ended up working with Eurasian couple and was able to finished my 2 years contract with them. When my contract ended, I went back home to the Philippines.
So what I am trying to say here is that, we need to slow down. enjoy life no matter what. Depression, sad, loneliness, craziness and all that drama has no place on this earth. You have got to be happy, take your time, slow down and don't forget to smell the fresh flowers on your way to work or way back home. :-)
