Image courtesy of [Stuart Miles] / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
If you are reading this, you are probably quite excited about meeting someone new. Regardless of this person's residence across town, across your state, or halfway around the world, you are very happy that you met someone new online. Well, I don't mean to burst your bubble. You might have been looking for the 'right one' for a long time and all that anticipation has gotten you very excited. However, this doesn't mean you should throw common sense and a healthy dose of skepticism out the window. It's okay to feel excited about this new person. It is fine to feel hopeful. However, you should still keep your head firmly fixed on your shoulders and not get carried away by emotion. If you get too carried away with your 'online relationship,' you might get into a 'relationship' that can not only harm you financially but, worse, harm you psychologically. Make no mistake about it-physical wounds heal quickly but emotional trauma can last a very long time. Learn how to spot online dating red flags quickly so you don't have to find out the hard way when you're already too far into your online relationship. The sad truth to keep in mind is that people lie online as much as they lie offline. In fact, for many people, it is easier to lie online since they feel their 'virtual' identities don't matter as much as their real, or offline, identities. Be aware of this fact. Keep these tips in mind so you can protect yourself from getting hurt. Money can be replaced. Physical wounds heal. But emotional scars can take forever to get over. Be careful who you give your heart to-online or offline.
Red Flag #1: She doesn't want to communicate via webcam
If you really want to see if the person you're 'dating' online is the real deal, get them on webcam. Why? Unlike pictures which can be selected, altered, or cropped a certain way to produce a certain effect, webcam sessions let you get a feel for how your online girlfriend really looks. There's no lying with webcams unless the person you communicate with got an actress to play her on webcam. That's possible but unlikely. Also, webcam sessions let you know how your online girlfriend reacts to things and shows emotions. It's the closest you'll get to talking to her face to face. This is why it is such a red flag for someone to refuse going on webcam. It is perfectly understandable if she refuses to meet you via webcam if you just met or if you are just getting to know each other. But once she says she's your girlfriend, consider it a bright red flag if she refuses to communicate via webcam. Something's up and you have every right to be suspicious. Also, don't buy excuses like she can't get a webcam. It's so easy to get a video capture device. Don't fall for any excuse. Nip this 'relationship' in the bud if she can't even commit to meet you on webcam.
Red Flag #2: She doesn't want to go on webcam more than once
If your online girlfriend chatted with you via cam once and now refuses to do so, be very suspicious. The first session might be someone else. Try to talk her into another session. Shyness has nothing to do with this. Don't take any excuses.
Red Flag #3: Doesn't send new pictures
If a person you're chatting with online sent you pictures and the pictures seem to be from the same set, insist on newer pictures. If she can't comply, be suspicious. Get ready to cut ties. You might be dealing with an impostor. Considering the fact that almost all mobile phones have a built in camera there is just no excuse for her to not send you a new picture. Insist on new angles. Don't get faked by impostors.
Ref Flag #4: Very fixed times for webcam or skype chat
If your online girlfriend chats with you via webcam regularly, congratulations. You are halfway there in terms of building trust. However, if she only wants to webcam chat within a fixed period of time within the day or within the week, this is a red flag. She might be taking time off a relationship or she might even be married. Be careful of getting involved with women in relationships. If they are willing to betray their significant others, what makes you think they won't do the same thing to you?
Red Flag #5: Life story keeps changing
As mentioned above, people lie online as much, if not more, than in offline real life. That's just the reality. If you notice that basic details about your girl's life story keeps changing, make sure your ears are perked up and get ready to cut ties. She might just be taking you for a ride. Don't let someone play with your heart strings. Someone who is worth having a relationship with won't lie to you. That's the bottom line. Regardless of whatever excuses she comes up with, if she respects you she will never lie to you. Also, be careful of people who like to exaggerate. Relationships are based on facts. Exaggerations distort relationships and you might end up getting hurt.
Red Flag #6: Webcam angle is fixed
Many women are insecure about their bodies. That's fine and understandable. Nobody is perfect. I am sure you have your own physical insecurities to. Be that as it may, it sure is a red flag if the person you're chatting with via webcam only tilts the webcam a certain way. Maybe she has a birth defect, a handicap, or some physical issues. If you truly love her, you will accept her the way she is. However, if she is hiding this from you, this is a serious issue because any form of lying has no place in a serious and real relationship. Insist on this. Don't compromise-demand to see her from all angles. If not, you might just be setting yourself up for a bitter break up later due to bad communication skills on her part.
Keep these red flags in mind. Of course, just because you see one or a few of them doesn't necessarily mean that your online girlfriend is a liar. Still, if you do see them, they are your cue to dig deeper and ask questions. Your emotional stability and integrity are worth more than whatever embarrassment you'll cause if you ask questions. Don't waste time with liars. There is no space for lies or half-truths in real relationships.
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