 |
| Cebuana Sweethearts! |
I write the following for the guys. These don’t always apply to the girls. For example, point 1 below, if a guy doesn't talk about all of the small details of your life it doesn't mean we are not interested. A lot of us guys aren’t that detail oriented or talkative about it. It is more our nature to listen and let the women talk about all of the details.
The following are not to be taken as gospel, but as rough guidelines. They are merely my strong opinion and experience on the subject. Take them for what they are. Each person is different from another therefore these are not a 100% guarantee in fact.
1. She learns and is knowledgeable about all of the small details of your life. If she asks for updates on the small details of your life, like how your parents are doing, brothers, sisters, children, that is an indication that she is putting a vested interest in the relationship. A lot of Filipinas are detail oriented and as such the little details, especially the family ones, do matter to them. It only goes to show that if the little details of your life matters to her – you matter to her.
2. She doesn’t ask for money. My intent in this list is to state the positive and avoid the negative, but money is a fact of life and eventually has to be mentioned. And one of the facts is that most people in the Philippines are fairly poor off in life– much worse than the seemingly richer lifestyles we live. I should say though, that if they marry strictly for the money aspect of overseas dating, they always end up poorer in the end. A marriage not built on solely love is doomed to failure; and money is always a tenuous foundation. However, a Filipina will indeed improve her lifestyle by marrying abroad. But a good woman fully understands that her lifestyle is what it is right now, and any ‘dire emergency’ will have to be dealt with, whether or not she is in a relationship with you. There is no impending tragedy that requires her asking money from you.
That having been said – I have in my past have assisted in finances in some small manner or other. When I first started off on the overseas dating path some 20 years ago and long before the Internet, I would send to the women I was writing, postage stamps so she would be able to reply to my letters – finances were dire at that time in the Philippines. One other time I did buy a woman a cellphone – she did not ask but I offered. The quality of the phone calls was exceedingly challenging because of the poor condition of her phone – and I felt for the benefit of our relationship it warranted it. But at no time did I have to ‘bail’ a family out because of some rare tragedy. The women knew better than to ask.
3. She is willing to discuss in length future combined goals. Regardless of distance apart in miles, and/or in years, no bond is stronger than that of common goals in life. What people consider when they say ‘2 people have a lot in common’ is usually very short-sighted. People do change and grow throughout life – growing in the same direction naturally leads to a very strong bond. And with a lot of common goals, a relationship develops where the individuals within a couple work together to complement each other – differences set aside. And that is important when considering overseas relationships where the physical contact is minimal, and the time frame seems exceedingly short.
4. Love at first sight. As corny as it sounds, when physically meeting her for the first time, your world should spin around and never be the same. Philippine women are incredible and vibrant. Anyone experiencing a relationship with a Filipina from overseas will understand that. And that is why I promote the overseas relationship – I always will.
5. When she says she loves you there is that bit of moisture in her eyes. That says to me more than the words say.
As I said, this is my rough guideline, an incomplete list, but at least a starting point. Overseas relationships are not always easy, but potentially very rewarding. I feel the benefits far outweigh any downfalls. And this list was created in response to Filipina Az’s list of 5 red lights to watch out for in overseas dating. I like to focus on the positive aspects of relationships to build on the good points. And that is what all good relationships are built on a positive outlook.
Wayne Ast (Is happily married to a beautiful Filipina) and founder of Cebuana Sweethearts! Please visit his site by clicking the link or here.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Your comments will put smiles on my face!