Top 5 Reasons Why Age Differences Are Not An Issue

I have struggled with this particular issue for years. The issue is age differences between couples. In particular, can  2 individual of vastly different age groups from a successful long term relationship? The term May/December relationship come to mind, but that is too simplistic.  The span could be 10 years, 20 years, or 30 years. I hear of 65 years old man who married a 17 year old Filipina, but that would be the extremity. More realistic would be age differences of 15, 29, or 25 years. More like May/September, or June/October. I heard someone argue once that people are in different stages of their lives with respect to age differences. Where does love fit into all of this, and will it have a chance to develop?

My wife and I have 20 years difference in our ages. We met 6 years ago online one day, and never parted since.  This is by far the best relationship I have ever had with any woman, with no regrets whatsoever.  I don’t at all believe that life or people are that simplistic that 2 people of different age groups can’t develop common bonds and at the same time appreciate their differences and find ways to enjoy life together. That would be along the same lines as the quite beautiful woman and the not so handsome man getting together because they ‘like’ each other and develop bonds which transcend societal norms of ‘sames’ getting together. Therefore, I feel the need to strike the argument that age is not an issue via my top 5 reasons.

1. Common ground is easy to find in life regardless of age differences.

Common ground between people needs to be developed in any relationship. People also change and grow as time progresses. Where two people start in a relationship; their likes and dislikes activities, never remain the same. New things are discovered, tastes change. Two people committed to a long-term relationship have the opportunity to grow and experience together. When I first met my wife, she listened to Brittany Spears, I listened to Mahler. We go fishing together, that is our common ground. I make her bacon and eggs every morning, she washes the clothing. We have learned to fit together-through the common activities of every day which everyone must do regardless of age. The cultural tendencies of different age categories are so easy to blend away.

2.  Age is just a number!

As your doctor assuredly told you; eat well, get plenty of exercise and rest, and you have a good chance of living to a ripe old age. There are some physical impediments that do crop up over time. I am in my lat 40's and I have noticed slight slowdown in my physical abilities over the past couple of years. My wife and I have often talked about doing some jogging together, something which would probably be good for both of us. However, I expect that i have at least a couple more decades before I start to really slow down. People do tend to age at different rates; people often confuse my age guessing it to be about 10 years younger than I actually am. My wife has a few back issues which might put about 10 years on her life. Maybe that puts us at the same age! As for pure physical stamina, my wife tends to run down about 30 minutes before I do. Overall, the physical age factor is not even a factor.

3. Differences in age can be cherished

Dealing with a person with a different vantage in life is one of life’s great learning experiences. There are many times that my wife and I have treated each other with a greater respect because of the age gap. I do understand that she is younger, and without the greater track record in life that I have. I therefore have given her a lot of leeway when her emotions are a bit irrational and might have the intention of playing ‘the cold shoulder’ for a bit before opening up with an issue she is having. She, on the other hand, has learned that I have little time, energy, or patience for ‘emotional games.’ I have a directness and sincerity with my emotions toward her – she need not look for ‘cues’ or anything else to understand how I am feeling. In

our 6 years together this format has served to strengthen a bond of understanding between us. I can definitely say that it has been a long time since we have had harsh words between ourselves. I will directly attribute this to the age differences, and each one of us bringing to the forefront the best each has to offer. 4. Cultural boundaries and age In many different cultures throughout history age differences between couples have had little relevance. Furthermore, differences in age tend to blend away when cultural differences already exist. Marry a Filipina and she must accustom herself to a new climate, new surroundings, and new ways of doing things. The cultural differences aren’t too extreme – besides Filipinas tend to be very adaptable.

5.  Love doesn’t care about age

Life is far too short, and can turn cold far too quickly. We don’t know how long each or any of us has in life. Many of us live to a ripe old age, but a lot people for one reason or another have much more truncated life spans. It is my personal opinion that when you do meet someone and you begin to share something wonderful, don't let anything impede the journey of loving another, sharing with another, and experiencing intimacy with another, especially not a minor factor such as age. Love transcends age. It is the one emotion that makes life worth living. It propels life into the stratosphere. Remember your first love how and intense that was! The greatest aspect of love, however, is that if two people show their 'love' a great deal of respect and caring, their love matures and creates a strong bond between the two of them. this defines the constructs of culture, religion and age.

Curerntly my wife is 29 years old, and I am 49 just about to turn 50. Our personal experiences is that our age difference was never a factor. Any relationship takes hard work. Divorce rates are very high in the western world. But I do feel that two people committed to a relationship can build a strong bond. My main argument here is that age differences are completely irrelevant in a relationship.

Author: Wayne Ast, owner of Cebuana Sweethearts!

About the Author: Wayne Ast, is the owner of Cebuana Sweethearts. 

Cebuana Sweethearts! is a full service dating service in helping establish long term relationships between Philippine women and men from around the world. We are a small community and a closely monitored community - we feature serious minded individuals only. Membership is free for Filipinas, but we charge a nominal fee for men. In all cases we strive to ensure that the intent of all members is true -to establish long term relationships.